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The Sentinel/General/069. Numb

Title: The Death of Guide and Sentinel
Fandom: The Sentinel
Characters: Jim Ellison, Blair Sandburg, William Ellison
Prompt: 069. Numb
Word Count: 823
Rating: PG-13
Warnings/Spoilers: DEATH FIC!!!! This is a Death Fic!!!!
Summary: After Blair dies, Jim can't cope.
A/N: I do not own The Sentinel or any of the characters. This was written for entertainment purposes only and no money was made from this endeavor. Written for 100moods



The Death of Guide and Sentinel
Debbie


Jim stood there, transfixed, unable to look away, unable to move. Another shot and he's brought out of his inactivity and he moves forward, dropping to the prone man's body. Jim knows instinctively it's too late, but that doesn't stop him from checking for a pulse, and listening for a heartbeat. There is none, just as he knew. Jim gathers the limp, lifeless body of his friend and guide into his arms and hugs the man close.

"No, Chief. You can't let this happen. You told me it was going to be forever. It can't be over already." Jim rocks back and forth, holding on tight.

~o0o~

He wakes up, disoriented. He sits up in the bed, recognizing Blair's room, wondering just why he's in here and not in his own bed. He gets out of the bed and walks out of the room to ask Blair what is going on. Just as he reaches the doorframe, the memory returns full force, almost knocking Jim to the floor. He grabs his chest and his breathing becomes shallow and somewhat labored.

Soon, someone has pulled him into strong arms and is whispering soft words. "Let it out, Jimmy. It's best if you don't hold it inside."

Jim pulls out of the embrace and looks into the face of his father. "Dad? How?"

"Captain Banks called me, told me what happened. He said that he had to notify Blair's mother… and he wanted someone with you."

"I couldn't stop it, dad! I stood there, watching as the bullets slammed into his body and he hit the ground, bleeding and dying. He was dead by the time I got to him. He… he was my… best… friend."

Jim was sobbing again and William pulls his son back into the embrace. He knows how close Jim and Blair were, how both men had mentioned to William how much they relied on each other. William was happen that his son had found someone who was such a great friend and he genuinely liked Blair, noticing that the young man tried to include William in their activities, saying they were all family. William felt the same way.

Soon, Jim has cried out all his tears and he pulls away from his father again. He goes to sit down in the living room and William follows.

"You want something to eat? Or drink?" William stands by the couch.

"No, dad. Sit down. What about Blair? Where is he?"

"I'm not sure. Captain Banks told me they had to pry you from his body. I am so sorry you had to witness that. Blair was a very special person."

"I have to organize a memorial service… a funeral… damn! I don't even know what he wanted. He was too young to die!" Jim let his head drop down and he covered his face with his hands. William can hear the soft sobs.

"It can wait, son. Until Captain Banks contacts Blair's family… his mother."

"This is going to kill her. I should have…"

"Stop right there, Jimmy. You could have been killed along with Blair."

"It would have been preferable," whispered Jim into his hands.

"No it wouldn't have. I don't want to lose my son."

"I can't live without Blair, dad. He was the other half of my soul."

"You'll find a way to live, Jimmy."

But Jim doubts his father's words.

~o0o~

Jim greets Naomi, but it is obvious that she blames Jim for her only child's death. Jim doesn't deny the guilt, but William Ellison tells her to stay away from Jim for the remainder of her stay in Cascade. William understands a grieving parent over the loss of a child, but Naomi is pushing the limits.

Jim seems to retreat into his own little world, not feeling the overwhelming sadness that emanates off the gathering at the funeral. Jim himself is numb, having drunk almost a bottle of whiskey the night before. He knows it's not an answer, but for a quick remedy, it is working pretty well.

Jim has tried zoning ever since Blair's death, thinking he can join his guide on the other side. He tries to find the connection he had with Blair before his untimely death, but it has been severed and is gone. Blair has truly left Jim alone.

Jim stands at the grave, looking at the coffin, knowing Blair isn't there.

"I know you're not there, Chief. You are in a far better place, with no pain, no suffering and no more violence. I hope you will wait for me, or give me a sign that you are still in my soul. It feels so empty and it hurts something fierce."

~o0o~

Two months after Blair's death, Jim disappeared. Just left Cascade, with no mention to anyone where he was going or what he was going to do. The general consensus was that he went to join his guide and friend.


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These are my stories chronicling the continuing adventures of Jim Ellison and Blair Sandburg, Sentinel and Guide, partners and friends.

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